Trauma and chronic stress can lead to a dysregulated stress system, which may make individuals more vulnerable to addictive behaviors. It is hard but I have been continuously educating myself so that I can heal. Mary. I had a few weeks where I felt an amazing awareness and connection to people, It seemed that I was absorbing super fast knowledge and self awareness and my connection to people had totally changed. (2015). For me to start the healing process, I had to look back and see where I made all the mistakes and promise myself not to repaet them. The association between type of trauma, level of exposure, and addiction. In this lifetime and the next. Im on week 5 of No ContactIts a struggle on some daysI googled searched Narcissism..Codependency..Emotional availabilityNow Trauma BondI wish I had done this research before marrying my NarcWe divorced a month ago..We were only married a monthI guess I am lucky that I was with her for just 2 yearsShe sex bombed me..She was not capable of love bombing.Both are like a drug..The withdrawals are brutalThe worst part is.I knew she was wrong for me but I am(was) so codependent I couldnt break away from what I thought love.I knew something was missing..The intimacy was absentShe used me to put in a new kitchen..To have sex.Then we had a minor disagreement about her adult daughterShortly after I was discardedPhone blockedI was confused..DevistatedWTF did I do that was so horrible.Then I also begged for her back..Now I know more about codependency(self love).It started with my mother who was narcissisticMy first wife also is narcissistic..Now I am awareEpiphony..My next mate will be a better choiceLive and learn and growThe Narc will just fester in their own dysfunction. I even had to fight with myself. He asked this one girl from some other country if she would pay me so I can leave.. I can only hope I find my opportunity for my escape and closure so I can feel peace without guilt, remorse and suffering. You deserve better and with therapy and a good support network (which it sounds like you have one because people are encouraging you to take the next step toward caring for yourself by leaving him for good) you can have the strength to see it is not so scary being alone with yourself. My body was not recovering and I was in and out hospitals. There is a robust correlation in the scientific literature between trauma and addiction. All the red flags where where from day one, the constant drastic mood swings, the love bombing, the idealization and finally, the devalutaion and finally, the replacement. I figured this would be the perfect time to escape. We are big now, and we wont die if we are alone. Chose your own pace and dont judge yourself if you fail in something. PDF The Role of Uncontrollable Trauma in the Development of PTSD and

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